I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
