Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
