were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
