he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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