Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So. Much. Porn.
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