Im at strip club and am horny
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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