Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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