but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
