my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
