Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
