Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
