The police scanner is talking about you again....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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