I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
