Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
