I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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