i can't believe i had my finger in that
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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