why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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