it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
