He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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