I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
