You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
