His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
