Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
