I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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