we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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