Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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