i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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