I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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