I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
