Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
