Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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