Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
