my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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