My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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