WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
