Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
