You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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