I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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