Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
