really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize