Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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