you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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