he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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