i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
