it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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