she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
