at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
