My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize