Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
