whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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