Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
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I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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