Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
