Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
